Carpe Diem

[AngelQueen]

Carpe Diem
By AngelQueen
Disclaimer: Birds of Prey, it's characters and concepts are the property of Warner Brothers, Tollin-Robbins Productions & DC Comics. Even though Warner Brothers doesn’t deserve such wonderful characters. *sulks*
Summary: Carolyn Lance makes a decision that will forever alter her life as well as those around her.
Author Note: This story takes place in the same universe as my previous story, “A Bird-Cat Thing.” As such, there are spoilers for that story. I recommend that you read that story first, then return to read this. It will probably make a bit more sense if you do.

*!*!*!*

I sat slumped on the couch in my apartment, using one hand to flip through several of the television channels with the remote, my other hand resting lightly on my stomach.

“Isn’t there *anything* on besides the trial,” I grumbled quietly. “That’s all that has been on for the past three days. It’s Saturday night for crying out loud.”

I should have just turned the television off. There was no need to put myself through the torture of watching the trial. I’d done my duty; I didn’t need to do anything more.

But something inside me wouldn’t allow my finger to hit that power button. Instead, my eyes became glued to the screen in front of me as it showed its viewer the end of the trial.

“Will the defendants please rise,” the judge commanded as he skimmed over the verdict that the bailiff had handed him.

The camera turned towards the ‘defendants.’ Jeffery Hawke and three of his sons, Jeffery Junior, Charles, and Daniel Hawke all stood stiffly at attention, all dressed up in their expensive business suits.

My eyes, however, fell on Jeffery Senior’s face. Gone was the robust man I had become extremely familiar with over the past year. His face lacked the rosy health that he normally enjoyed. Left in his place was a pale and drawn man, a shadow of what he’d once been.

I turned my away. It should not have hurt to see him like that, but it did. I was, after all, responsible for making him that way.

“The jury has reviewed all the information presented here and has found the defendants guilty of all charges. Jeffery Hawke Senior has been sentenced to life imprisonment at Gotham City Maximum Security Prison, Jeffery Hawke Junior, Charles Hawke, and Daniel Hawke have been-”

The television clicked off, leaving me to sit in silence. I closed her eyes. I knew many people would be rejoicing to see the Hawke family’s fall. They’d been one of the top crime families in the country, if not the world, for almost thirty years now. Now, there was only one left to deal with, the youngest son of Jeffery Senior, Al.

But I had been practically a member of that family for the past year. And that involvement had been sparked by a single argument…



“My god, Bruce! You cannot be expected to save every person in this city, as Batman or Bruce Wayne,” I yelled.

We were in the library on the first floor of the manor. Bruce sat comfortably behind his desk, which was covered with neatly organized stacks of business papers. I stood mere feet away in front of his desk, my face probably red with fury.

“Even by attending every charity ball and stopping every possible crime, you wouldn’t be able to save every life! You have to rest,” I added huffily.

“I cannot afford to rest, Carolyn. We’ve been through this before,” Bruce replied calmly, his hands resting demurely in his lap. Or at least, he appeared calm. But I could easily see that those hands were clenching one another tightly.

“And why can’t you? You have Lucius Fox and a slew of vice-presidents over at the company. They could handle things there. Batman has Batgirl and Robin to guard the city. They can even call in Nightwing or myself if they actually needed help.”

His lips tightened slightly. “That’s not why.” He stood up and turned away from me to stare out the window behind him. It was clearly a dismissal.

I wasn’t known for taking a hint. “Then why, Bruce? Tell me because I sure as hell haven’t been able to figure it out in all the years that I’ve known you.”

“Keep your voice down. Alfred and Tim will hear you.”

“Let them! They have the right to know what is going on! Hell, they see the same things I do! They see you pushing yourself closer and closer to the edge. You’ve nearly fallen over several times, but we’ve managed to catch you before you fall. One of these days we’re not going to be able to catch you. You *need* to slow down!”

His hand was now clenched. I was getting him angry. I should have stopped then, but I was angry as well. So I continued my barrage.

“What is it, Bruce,” I demanded. “Is it that you don’t trust us to protect “your” city? You don’t think we’re up to the job, even though most of us have trained extensively for years to do so? Do you think we’d let the city fall into total chaos if you weren’t there to look over our shoulder every five minutes?”

I would have kept going, but he whirled around and cut me off, his eyes blazing.

“Selina understood.”

I felt like I’d been slapped across the face and punched right in my gut at the same time. Those words were more hurtful than anything that had ever been said or done to me in the past. I could feel my blood draining away from my face as I stared at him.

Bruce must have noticed, for his face immediately lost some of its rage. He began to reach out for my arm, probably thinking I was going to faint or something. I doubt he’d expected me to shut right up like that. I instinctively backed away from him.

“Carolyn,” he began. “I-”

“No,” I hissed roughly. “No. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear, Bruce. It’s obvious to me now that your heart still belongs to her. How could I compete with someone like that? After all, she’s Selina Kyle, the great Catwoman, the Queen of the Underworld. I’m just little Carolyn Lance, daughter of a cop and Black Canary. This is just another example of her notorious skills.”

I turned away and marched towards the door, leaving Bruce to stand there, his hand still outstretched. When I reached the door, I stopped and turned my head back.

Quietly, I said, “Goodbye, Bruce Wayne. I hope you’re able to be happy again one-day. I hope… she’ll come back someday and make you be what you once were. Maybe she’ll succeed in bringing back the man I knew. Maybe she’ll succeed where I failed.”

At that, I left the room. And I didn’t look back.

[AngelQueen]

After that, the only member of the Bat family that I had any contact with was Barbara. She kept me informed of how things were going with Bruce and Tim, even a few things about Dick, who was establishing himself over in Bludhaven. But I never spoke with Bruce after that. It just hurt too much.

God knows I loved him. Maybe I still do. And it hurt to let him go like that. But he didn’t love me. He couldn’t. Not when his heart was still with Selina, where ever she is.

So, I just devoted myself to my work. I began to bust as many crimes as I had in my early days, before I’d joined up with Batman and the first Robin. I only spoke sporadically with anyone outside Barbara and my parents.

Then, I got an offer that I couldn’t refuse. A chance to take down the Hawke family, the most ill famed crime unit in Gotham. I jumped at the opportunity.

I think back on that now and I believe that I might have had an unconscious desire to prove to Bruce that I could help this city without him looking over my shoulder.

So, I began to worm my way into the Hawkes’ confidence. I began by just following orders and, over time, gave the appearance of my growing loyalty to them. I watched their backs and guarded them ferociously.

That alone brought me to Jeffery Hawke Senior’s attention. In this business you either trusted no one, eventually getting caught due to your own paranoia, or you surrounded yourself with only those you’d trust with your life. He continued to observe me carefully for several months, until he asked me to become his personal aide.

Though I pretended to consider the consequences, my decision was made the moment he asked me. Not only to gain more information, but I’d seen his interest in me. Perhaps I had a subconscious desire to hurt Bruce, whom I knew, through Barbara, was watching my work with the Hawke family with interest.

Once into Hawke’s inner circle, I got a good look at the real Jeffery Hawke. Not the hard, ruthless man I’d always thought him to be, but a man weighed down by his choice of life and the consequences that had gone with it. His wife, Marie, had given him four sons, Jeffery Junior, Charles, Daniel, and Al, and single daughter, Claudia. But about fifteen years ago, Marie and Claudia were killed when a drunk driver hit that killed both mother and daughter.

Perhaps, under the corrupt and flagitious shield, there were the remains of a good man. Maybe he'd just been pushed down so far due to the sufferings he'd had to endure.

I guess I’ll never know.

Our relationship grew over the next several months as I continued to gather information. One night not too long ago, after the inner circle had celebrated the conclusion of a successful deal and everyone had left, things… got a little… out of control between Jeffery and I.

And yet, when I woke up the next morning and briefly watched him sleep, I felt no sense of shame. Only a slight sense of contentment. I didn’t love Jeffery, and I doubt he truly loved me. But we did care about one another.

But the sense of contentment that I felt was a false one. Merely two weeks later, the trap was finally sprung. The police caught Jeffery and all his sons but Al in the act of selling ammunition to terrorists. Al was involved, of course. He was the one who’d put his family into contact with that particular group. But due to traffic, he’d been late for the meeting. So of course he was able to claim innocence to what had happened.

Later that day, I walked into the D.A.’s office, in costume for the first time in months, and handed him a folder about four inches thick. An open and shut case. With the D.A., I noted that Commissioner Gordon, as well as Batman and Batgirl, were with him. I nodded cordially to the Commissioner and his masked daughter, and merely gave Batman a blank stare. I doubt the D.A. or the Commissioner noticed, but it must have been glaringly obvious to my fellow vigilantes.

It only took a month for both sides to prepare their cases, and a week for the trial. The defense stood no chance against the evidence I’d been collecting for so long.

And just week ago, I’d had a doctor’s appointment due to the fact that I’d been feeling absolutely miserable for the past few weeks. I thought it to be merely a bug, but when it didn’t go away, I decided I’d better get checked out.

And indeed, the doctor did find something out of the ordinary.

I was pregnant.

Ever since the moment I found out, I’d been walking around in a daze. After showering, I’d stand in front of a mirror and stare at my abdomen in shocked wonder. There was a baby in there. A baby. My baby.

I know I’ll have to leave Gotham. Al Hawke is calling for my head down in the Underworld. Soon enough, bounty hunters and punks alike are going to be coming after me. I wouldn’t let them discover my child. Al would know who the father was since he knew of the relationship I had with his father. He would want to claim his half-sibling.

He wouldn’t touch this child. Not as long as I breathed with life.

So, I will leave. I won’t tell anyone where I’m going, not even Barbara or Bruce. In his case, it’s none of his business. And it’s for Barbara’s protection if she doesn’t know. If Al does manage to discover her connection to me, then she can answer truthfully that she does not know where I am.

So, I’ll have to start packing in the morning. And do a little shopping as well. I might as well start getting some baby clothes, even though I don’t know the child’s gender yet. I’ll get some neutral-colored clothes. I’ll do my best to prepare for the arrival of either Lee or Dinah.

I only hope I’m up to the challenge of being Black Canary as well as Super Mom.

[AngelQueen]

Uh... okay...

[Candle]

Sorry I'm late, but this was good reading. is there more?

[ShadowWalker]

yeah, do you have more?

[huntress6541]

This is interesting, anymore coming?